Last night, while getting ready for bed, I had a moment. A moment where my current life felt surreal. Not good or bad, just not mine. And I realized, this was not the life I had chosen for myself.
Allow me to explain. When I use to think of my life and how it would be, this is not what I imagined. Not at all. If you had told me 15 years ago that I would end up in Wisconsin, the coldest state I’ve ever lived in, and knitting as a form of recreation, I would have laughed at you. Not an image I would have wanted for myself 15 years ago, not at all.
However, where I’m at today is not what I would have imagined even a few weeks ago.,. nursing injuries, looking for a new car, and still contracting with a local company. Why, because all those things were unexpected. My contract assignment was just suppose to be a 2 month assignment, it’s been almost 10 months now. And the auto accident was…well unplanned. It’s as if my life got away with me. As if life just “happened”, and I’m not sure how I got here.
Have you ever felt like that? You know, as if you don’t know how you got here, in this life. And do you wonder why you didn’t end up in the life you dreamed up for yourself years ago? What do you do at that moment of realization?
I know, that from this moment on – things are different. I’m not sure how, yet, but things are different. I feel more determined, more on fire, and more alive somehow.
And now…to dream up what’s next.
So, I wonder…What is the life that you had chosen for yourself, before life “happened” to you? Or are you living the life you dreamed?